Ichthyophobia
by Kage Hasu
Summary: Their eyes locked. Kaito held back a groan. He knew, the moment he looked in her eye that – no matter how wonderful the morning started out – it was just going to be one of THOSE days. One-shot


Disclaimer: I do not own Magic Kaito. It belongs to Gosho Aoyama. Also, Aoko's ideas are not mine either. I can't remember who they DO belong to and I can't seem to find them . . .

Quote: A positive attitude may not solve all your problems. . .But it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Ichthyophobia

_It_, Kaito determined, hands locking behind his head, _is going to be a good day_. Last night he had pulled off yet _another_ successful heist while causing _tons_ of trouble for the Task Force and Hakuba (Nakamori-keibu had – obviously – looked horrid in drag; rather surprisingly, however, Hakuba had the perfect legs to pull of that little black dress. . .) and getting away without a single scratch. Snake hadn't made an appearance but he was rather glad about that, as Aoko had been there. Rather disappointingly – but sadly expected by this point – was that the large sapphire he had stolen (borrowed! Temporarily _liberated_!) wasn't Pandora.

A devilishly wicked grin stole across his face (Nakamori-keibu shivered with foreboding over his morning cup of coffee) as he contemplated how he might return the gem _this _time. Perhaps he could have Nakamori-keibu find it in his morning coffee? Have it delivered with the dry cleaners? Send a balloon to breakfast? Hm. It was something to ponder.

A light wind tousled his already unruly hair as he walked sedately (for once) on his normal path to school. Aoko was waiting for him outside her house.

"Aoko," He greeted, waving energetically to his best friend (and love interest). His grin widened when her blue orbs (prettier than any sapphire he had stolen) lighted on his form. A warm smile graced her pretty face as she returned his greeting. Their eyes locked. Kaito held back a groan. He knew, the moment he looked in her eye that – no matter how wonderful the morning started out – it was just going to be one of_ those_ days.

Absentmindedly, the magician rescued multiple balls from the inside pockets of his uniform. Keeping a sliver of attention on the brightly colored toys, Kaito tried to figure out what Aoko had planned while filling the air with rather fanboy-ish gushing of Kaitou KID's escapade the night before. A puff of air escaped him in a small sigh before he pushed all his worries and problems (Snake and Tantei-kun and got-to-keep-everyone-safe-and-have-to-keep-Aoko-ig norant) Might as well enjoy the day while you can.

A mere block from school a mischievous, _evil_ grin crept onto his face, Aoko didn't even have a moment to get nervous before the Kaito Breeze™ blew past, throwing up the hem of her skirt while flashing the onlookers (who incidentally were used to this rather routine morning ritual and therefore were _not _aware of the color of today's choice of undergarments.)

"Really Aoko, blue cotton? Don't _real_ girls like red lace and black silk," Kaito questioned, large indigo eyes widening innocently.

An arched eyebrow ticked warningly, cheeks reddened to resemble tomatoes, and delicate hands fisted with righteous feminine fury. Then Mount Aoko exploded. "KAITOOOOOO!"

Laughing merrily and followed by curses that would make a sailor blush (oh . . . Nakamori-keibu had used that one last night!) the two friends (lovers-to-be) quickly closed the distance between them and school.

As the day progressed Aoko seemed to get more and more nervous, opening her mouth to ask a question of her best friend, only to close it again. Such behavior from the normally bold girl was both worrying and annoying. Finally the last bell of the day rang and the two were free to leave. A block from school, Kaito could take Aoko's timidity no longer. Cutting Aoko off in the middle of her sentence, the dark haired boy glared at his shorter companion.

"You've been acting strangely _all day!_ Say what it is you want so we can move on"

The brunette girl fingered her skirt nervously. Kaito narrowed his eyes at her.

Aoko blurted out her thoughts before she could change her mind

"I was wondering why you are afraid of fish."

Silence.

A shiver wracked its way throughout Kaito's entire body as the _f-word_ registered in his brain.

"What brought this up?" Poker Face. Got to remember Poker Face.

"Well," Aoko shifted, "I mean you have such a. . .an extreme reaction to anything that even _looks_ like a – well you know – even if it's just printed on cloth or a stuffed animal. I started thinking about it over the weekend and I came up with a few theories." She admitted warming up slightly to the subject.

Kaito stared at her blankly. Mind racing a hundred miles an hour.

"You have theories about my Ichthyophobia?"," A nod, "And you want me to tell you if your right?" Another nod.

_Forget Poker Face_.

"Well okay," Kaito said, sounding as though he was humoring a dangerous, deranged person, "what are they?"

"Well first I thought that when you were little an innocent game of hide-and-seek went wrong. You were playing with your twin brother - ("I don't have a twin," Kaito protested. "Well no," Aoko admitted, "but neither you nor Shinichi knew that at the time." Kaito shook his head in disbelief.) – who had been adopted by your parents when his were murdered by Them," the capitalization was obvious. "It was your turn to hide and you thought you'd found the perfect spot. You figured he'd never find you.

"You hid inside the fishing (Kaito shivered) hole under the door, balancing precariously above the water. But then you slipped and fell into the water. Even though you could swim you couldn't reach leave the water because there were so many fish (Kaito's forehead broke out into a cold sweat) crowding around you.

"Toichi-san, meanwhile was calling in Shinichi for dinner. Your twin (who, incidentally, also has this really cool thing called ESP) knew you were in trouble and led your father straight to you. Toichi-san rescued you from drowning but the experience left its mark on you in the form of your phobia."

. . . _What?_

"O-kay," Kaito spoke slowly, tip-toeing around the minefield that was his best friend. "Who is Them?'

"The Black Organization," Aoko said, as if it were obvious. "Although it _might _have been the Shadow Syndicate; personally, though, I think that group is just a branch of the Black Organization. I think the Syndicate was started by one of the higher ups to focus solely on unconventional methods to achieve their goal. Which is to say; immortality. Be it by mythical jewels with obscure histories that shouldn't have survived ten thousand years, or a chemically created drug which was _actually_ supposed to kill without leaving a trace."

Kaito took a deep breath.

Poker face.

Deep breath.

"Where did you come up with a crazy theory like _that_? Shinichi Kudo _isn't_ my twin and his parents are _not_ dead. I don't care how much alike we look, we're _not _secretly related." Kaito argued, face carefully incredulous. The second Aoko had seen The Great Detective of the East's picture there had been no end to the teasing and the theories of how they were actually twin brother's separated at birth.

Pushing that to the back of his mind, never to see the light of day again, Kaito focused on the more pressing worry. Aoko couldn't know about Snake and his gang. . .right? He had taken _so much_ care to keep everything from his other life a million light years away from her.

. . .though that theory _did_ have merit. . .

Aoko sighed in disappointment. "I suppose you're right."

Kaito scoffed arrogantly, "'Course I am. I'm always right."

"No comment." A sigh. "Next one then. When you were really little you were friends with Ranma. Wanting some martial arts training to improve your skills as a magician you (rather stupidly) asked Genma to give you a few lessons. He agreed."

Kaito had a really bad feeling about this.

" He decided to teach you uoken (Fish Fist). He covered you in fish (Kaito shivered) bait and threw you in a pit of the starving animals. Rather obviously that only caused you to fear them, so – to cure you of your fear – he covered you in different types of their food and bait and threw you in again and again to try and cure your fear. Naturally this only made you petrified of the little things.

And he didn't learn his lesson either," Aoko's face turned stormy, "because a month later he did the exact same thing to his son, only with cats. So now when they get close to one of the swimmy thingies and feel that you can't get away, the power of the Fish (a cold wind swept by Kaito) Fist overcomes your senses and makes you believe that you are one of – uh, _those_ things and all of your physical senses heighten so that you can COMPLETELY CRUSH YOUR OPPOSITION MWUAHAHAHAHAHA ***cough cough cough***." Aoko coughed delicately in her fist. "I _really _need to work on my evil laughter. I suppose I need to ask Akako for more advice."

A sweatbead appeared on Kaito's head.

"Putting aside the fact that I'm not crazy enough to get within twenty meters of the man, martial arts really isn't able to help me become a better magician _at least not the way HE teaches it_," Kaito ended in a mutter.

_How did she know Genma taught Ranma Nekoken? He was only here for a couple months._ Kaito thought incredulously. "What else ya got?"

Aoko grinned, not at all deterred that her last two ideas had been completely crazy and not at all possible in any form whatsoever. (We will gracefully ignore the fact that the next one is liable to be even more out of this world and even less possible that the last two.)

"Many, many years ago ("let's say 167 years ago." "Why 167?" "Why not?" Kaito nodded, convinced by this logic.) one of your ancestors fell in love with a beautiful woman who just so happened to be a selkie. He hid her pelt so she couldn't return to the sea and convinced her to marry him. Many years passed and the selkie bore him many children. One of her children found his mother's pelt and brought it to his mother.

"Realizing that she had been tricked, the selkie burned with rage against her husband. So, before she returned to the sea she placed a curse on the fish—(Kaito blankly watched as a tumbleweed blew past, weren't those suppose to be in America?) -erman and all his descendants. ("Selkie are even more frightening than a slighted mermaid, but also rather stupid when vexed. I mean really, cursing his descendents meant cursing her own as well, you know." Aoko said wisely.)

"The curse was thus: that when one of the afflicted were to come into contact with a fish (Kaito turned gray) for too long, they become a merperson. Coming from a selkie it doesn't seem to be very curse-like until you realize her former husband's profession . . . and the fact that a half-fish (A thundercloud formed over Kaito's head. He looked up warily.) requires water to breathe. OH!" Aoko suddenly exclaimed, "The curse is patrilineal, of course, but your mother _was _aware of that when she married your father."

"So, in conclusion, the reason for your phobia is because of the canoeing trip you went on with your father. You fell out of the canoe and all the things-with-huge-unblinking-eyes-that-kinda-creep- ya-out swarmed you ("Eh, Kaito," Aoko interrupted herself, "are you okay?" A slim finger poked warily at the burnt crisp of a boy next to her. Shrugging unconcernedly at the crackling black cloud hovering over the body, Aoko returned to her monologue.) because you're practically their long lost cousin twice removed.

"Of course that just freaked you out even more, because your father hadn't seen fit to tell you about your little scaly problem and you were, naturally, quite shocked about your new appendage. So not only were you surrounded by fish (Newly recovered Kaito flinched.) but you were also half-fish, which petrified you so horribly words can't describe your mortal terror." Aoko finished grandly.

Kaito sighed, trying desperately to hold onto consciousness with all of the incessant repeating of the word fi- er, the f-word. "Aoko. Selkie, curses, merpeople and. . .MAGIC like _that_ isn't real," Kaito lied. "And I assure you that if I_ did _have a curse like that you would be the first to know. Mother would have warned you so that you would be ready to get me to water so I wouldn't . . . you know . . _DIE_!"

Aoko thought about for a minute. She sighed. "I suppose you're right . . . Chikage-san would have warned me if that were true." Aoko huffed, her cheeks puffing out like a blowfish. "So if you're not scared because of an almost drowning, being a victim of Genma's stupidity, or a curse from your many times great-grandmother . . . why are you scared of the things Kaito?"

"Partially because I don't like the way they look at me." Aoko stared at her friend in disbelief. "Even _you_ admitted their eyes creep you out," Kaito defended himself. "Besides," He continued haughtily, "It's called a _phobia _for a reason Aoko. A phobia is an irrational fear of something that doesn't actually pose a danger. I mean can you imagine having arachibutyrophobia? The fear of having peanut butter stick to the roof of your mouth? Or even phobophobia; the fear of _having_ a phobia? Honestly."

Aoko sighed before starting to walk again, "What a disappointment. Such a stupid reason to be scared of the finny-things." Kaito stared after her with a large sweatbead. Fourteen paces away Aoko paused and turned back to Kaito. "Aren't you coming?" she asked exasperatedly.

"Hai, hai. I'm coming."

As he hurried to catch up Kaito almost broke out in a cold sweat at the thought of the _real _reason he was scared of fish. . .

**Eleven Years Ago:**

_A young Kuroba Kaito looked up at his father in confusion, his eternally messy brown hair falling into his sapphire eyes._ _"Your teacher is coming to visit?"_

"_Yup," said Toichi happily, "He said he'll be teaching you a lesson in magic so I expect you to be on your best behavior okay?" _

_Five year old Kaito nodded solemnly._

_~.~.~.~_

_Kaito blinked perplexedly at the strange, short old man with a blue robe, a tall, pointed blue hat and a long white beard which fell past his knees. _

"_Ah," the old man said, "You must be young Kaito. Toichi has told me so much about you. Are you ready for your lesson in magic?" Little Kaito nodded energetically. _

"_Yes sir," He chirped. The old man waved off the formally with a wrinkled hand. _

"_Oh never mind that silly formality stuff. Simply Merlin will do." Said the newly identified Merlin. _

_Kaito nodded agreeably, he didn't like formality much either. "Um. . .Merlin-san, what are we going to be learning?" The old wizard winked slyly._

"_Brain over brawn." _

_~.~.~.~_

_Fish-Kaito swam frantically. _

_Merlin had turned the both of them into fish for the lesson. Everything had been going swimmingly (pardon the pun) until that pickerel had showed up. Then everything had disintegrated into chaos. A shadow fell over the small blue fish and he glanced up to see a row of extremely sharp teeth above him; about to snap down and make him dinner. A fresh wave of adrenaline surged through his bloodstream, giving Kaito a burst of speed just before he was eaten. _

"_Merlin," He cried breathlessly, "Undo the spell!" _

"_Have you learned the lesson yet?" Asked Fish-Merlin placidly. _

"_Yes, yes. Brain over brawn." _

"_Very good lad. . .now what were those words?" Fish-Kaito swam frantically to and fro as he tried to out swim the streamlined pickerel fish behind him. He made acrobatic leaps into the air, the large fish following close behind him. _

"_Hurry Merlin," Kaito cried, waking up the slumbering Archimedes. Just as Kaito was about to fall down the pickerel's throat a sharp beak caught his fin and threw him in the water; consequently one of the brown owl's talons was caught in the knife-like teeth of the long fish, dragging the poor bird under the water. What followed was a rather humorous chase of Archimedes trying to grab one of Kaito's fins in his beak and fly him to safety. Archimedes slid on the fish's slippery scales, the water only adding to the difficulty of saving the transformed boy. _

_Muttering in annoyance Archimedes made wonderful use of his beak and wings as he laboriously climbed forwards, barely stopping the evil thing from snapping its jaws on the not-fish. Finally the owl's beak closed gently over Kaito's back fin and they hopping and jumped over the surface of the pond, dodging left and right as sharp teeth missed them by centimeters each time. Skidding on the wet ground Archimedes lost his grip on the small fish and tumbled beak over talons to land with a wet *__**splat**__* against a large moss-covered rock. _

_Sputtering, a human Merlin stomped his way out of the pond, pulling water weeds out of his long hair. "What?" He asked the empty air angrily, "Is a monster like THAT doing in THERE? I'll – I'll," Merlin fumed, "I'll turn him into a minnow!"_

"_Merlin," cried Kaito, flopping on the soggy ground like a. . .well, like a fish._

"_Oh there you are boy," Merlin said sheepishly before quickly waving his wand at the blue fish and saying a few special words. There was a puff of smoke, a shower of pretty sparkles and suddenly Kaito was human again. "However did you get out of that mess?"_

"_That big fish almost ATE me," Kaito said, wide-eyed, "But Archimedes, he – he saved me."_

_~.~.~.~_

_That evening, after Merlin and Archimedes had left, the Kuroba sat down to dinner. Toichi and Chikage asked their son what he'd thought of Merlin. _

"_He's crazy, absolutely nutters. But I really like him. Both him and Archimedes."_

"_And what did he teach you?" Toichi prompted. Kaito thought for a minute._

"_Well, he taught me that with imagination anything is possible. That fish are REALLY scary and that Archimedes is really nice – deep down." Kaito's parents chuckled. "Oh yeah, and brain over brawn." Kaito said, suddenly remembering what the whole disaster had been about in the first place._

~.~.~.~

Yeah, there was _no way_ he was _ever_ going to admit he had almost been eaten by a pickerel. Not even _Aoko _would believe him.


End file.
